Hi everyone!
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A poorly drawn map of Australia crying because Matt didn't win |
I’ve been betrayed. Our great nation has been betrayed.
MasterChef has broken my heart, and judging by Facebook and Instagram comments,
the hearts of many other Australians. Matt was robbed. Robbed by some stupid,
bloody, fancy pants egg. He is literally the new Poh… and I will never, I
repeat, never, forgive network ten
for this travesty.
Anyway, this is my last post! I’ve
actually had my final dish in mind for a good few weeks now. Surprise, it’s the Baked Alaska! It's generally agreed upon that the Baked Alaska is one of the needlessly difficult dishes out there. I can attest to that. I was
really, really hoping my last dish would go swimmingly. But like Matt
Sinclair’s, my dreams were crushed. And I’m don’t mean they were slightly
shaken about, I mean that they were absolutely shattered.
Frozen Elements: Sorbet
and ice cream
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Why do I do this to myself? |
I lounged about all morning, before reading the
recipe at approximately 11 o’clock. This, my friends, was the beginning of a
marathon-length nightmare. The recipe summary promised 1 hour and 35 minutes cooking time ‘plus cooling and freezing’. I thought, sweet, that’s probably around 5 hours in
total, what a walk in the park. Alas, subtly buried in the recipe, as a
sort of afterthought, it was stated that it must set for 'at least 8 hrs'. EIGHT
HOURS. Excluding ice cream and sorbet setting time! Needless to say, many rude words were flung around, as I entered extreme panic mode. You see, I couldn’t simply make it
tomorrow. My mum’s BFF was coming over specifically to sample my baked goods.
Thankfully, my first ever attempts of sorbet and ice cream
were a reasonable success.
The sorbet was orange juice and sugar, infused
with star anise. The aniseed flavour was a little overpowering, but I'm blaming the recipe for that shortcoming. In my mad frenzy I forgot to add the orange marmalade to the orange ice
cream, but it was still utterly delish!
Chocolate cake dome
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Yeah look, I'll be the first to admit she ain't pretty |
This went a little less well. It turns out that the baking tin I used wasn’t
quite large enough, meaning that there wasn’t quite enough cake
to build a base for my Baked Alaska.
The dome is meant to be constructed in a
pudding dish. Does anyone in Australia have a pudding dish? Instead, I
used a normal bowl. Consequently, constructing the cake dome was an uphill
battle. My tragic patchwork quilt of cake glued together with melted chocolate,
can be seen on your right.
Assemblage (a.k.a.
disaster)
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Please set, please set, please set |
Alrighty, I’m warning you, the following succession of
events is an utter tragedy.
I let my Baked Alaska freeze for a few hours. It wasn’t the
recommended 8, but trust me, I left it for as long as possible. The night ended with me furiously whisking meringue during the commercial breaks of the
MasterChef finale. What can I say?My
reputation for being the most frustratingly last minute person on Earth is well
deserved.
Once I slapped the meringue onto the dome, it actually
looked quite pretty. However, the icecream and sorbet inside my cake dome weren’t
rock solid and it had no cake base. I was iffy about putting it in the oven for ten whole minutes, so
my step sister advised me to use the grill, because it would cook the meringue
quicker.
I took my eyes off it for like 20 seconds, and suddenly the
entire top was burnt to a blackened crisp.
I’d lost all will to live.
But, hold on, it gets worse.
Somehow, I dropped my Baked Alaska.
I bloody dropped it.
I don’t know what happened, but it slipped from my grasp,
and onto the open oven door.
I won’t lie, I almost cried. I could feel the tears behind
my beedy eyes.
But instead of bawling, I chose to laugh hysterically, as my
mother and her best friend tried to comfort me.
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Before and after I died of a broken heart |
Ranking rubric
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Mum & Li, my two biggest fans, apart from maybe Chelsea Wilson |
Taste: 7/10- since the aniseedy sorbet melted into non existence, the icecream + cake combo was quite yummy
Presentation/resemblance to dish: 1/10- need I say more?
Time: 2/10- This is the closest I think I'll ever feel to being in a Pressure Test. I just didn't have enough time. I did achieve a lot in the time frame though
Kitchen Mess: 2/10- it was a lowkey bombsite chez moi
So yeah, my final attempt at being MasterChef worthy, well
and truly backfired. At the end of these past few months, I can confidently say
that I am not MasterChef worthy (yet). Ah well, that’s life. It’s been a fun
ride.
Thanks if you’re reading this, and I hope my failures have
been somewhat entertaining to you.
Cheers,
Rosa